• Home
  • About
  • Currently
    • Reading
    • Writing
    • Recording
  • Hire
    • Services
  • Contact
  • Shop

Kehinde Thurman

What Kehinde Talking About?

Cup of Sugar, Cup of Lessons, Cup of Love

March 1, 2019

“My momma said to ask you if she can have some sugar?”

And then I’d stand there with my cup in hand and wait for my auntie Thomasine to tilt her head and gaze at me like I was the reason my momma didn’t have the good sense to plan ahead to have sugar for whatever she needed it for. I’d wait, respectfully of course. And know that no matter how long auntie took to answer, the answer was always yes.

The answer was yes when I was six and I needed to live with her to get out from under the roof of the man who abused me.

The answer was yes whenever I needed a place to lay my head as a teenager who thought she knew it all. And I didn’t even have to ask. But if I did, I’d know to wait for the head tilt and the yes I knew was coming. 

The answer was yes when I received the worst news of my life and immediately went to her house to be surrounded by family to start processing such a loss.

The answer was yes when my momma needed some sugar. But only actual sugar. If you try to kiss auntie Thomasine, she will pretend not to like it and shoo you away. She’ll always let you land one on her cheek though. 

All the cousins have our Auntie stories but I’m her favorite. The cousins are born haters so they will deny this if you ask. But they know.

She don’t know it but I often refer to her and her sisters as “The Aunts” or “The Tribunal” when I talk to other folks. Their word is something to stand on and truth be told, I still move around this world with their thoughts and opinions in mind. What would The Aunts think if I did this? What would The Aunts say if they knew I was doing that? That guide rarely fails me. If I make a move I know The Aunts would approve of, I know I’m making the right move.

Auntie is a woman who has only ever loved me. I’ve never heard a word from her mouth that made me believe I was anything but valued as a person. Auntie was one of the first to show me that Black women will always make space for you. Even her chastisement lands softly. Even if I’m working her nerves. Even if I’m being a trifling niece and haven’t called her in forever.

It’s her birthday today. And more than anything, I want her to know that her saying yes did more than provide some sugar for the kool-aid. Her saying yes is a guide for showing up for folks you love. Even when they ain’t got nothing to offer you but the cup in they hand. Her yes was a guide for how to love Black girls and women who sometimes need to be called in for not properly preparing with a head tilt that says everything without making them feel bad for needing help. Her yes is the understanding that no matter where I am in the world, no matter what is happening, if I need a yes, it’s just a head tilt away.

Share

You May Also Like

Pretty Political: On Taraji P. Henson’s Black Girl Magic and MAC’s Failure to Recognize It

September 11, 2016

On Mike Brown, Renishia McBride, Trayvon Martin and Eric Garner

August 11, 2014

We Ain’t Hiding and Y’all Will Deal: On Sha’Carri Richardson and Black Girl Bodies

June 22, 2021

That Time a Yoga Class Delivert Me From the Spirit of Comparison

December 12, 2017
Previous Post
But For the Ancestors, I’d Probably Have a Restraining Order Too
Next Post
The Real Reason It’s Too Late to Start Watching Game Of Thrones

Instagram

We ain’t holding on to nothing but joy in ♌️ season. And it’s always Leo season. 😉
kehindethurman
kehindethurman
•
Follow
We ain’t holding on to nothing but joy in ♌️ season. And it’s always Leo season. 😉
2 days ago
View on Instagram |
1/6
To be clear, Georgia allowing fetuses to be claimed for tax purposes will absolutely end up disproportionately harming Black and Brown folks. It sounds good to think folks will get extra money but there are so many ways it can come back to harm Black and Brown folks. Like when folks claim a fetus one year and don’t claim a child the next year, they’ll be trying to prosecute folks. Or file for child support for the fetus and then miscarry or travel to another state to have an abortion so now they have proof you were pregnant and they’ll be trying to prosecute folks. Just know that a state that doesn’t allow you full autonomy over your body is not a state that wants to help you. It’s a gaht damn setup.
kehindethurman
kehindethurman
•
Follow
To be clear, Georgia allowing fetuses to be claimed for tax purposes will absolutely end up disproportionately harming Black and Brown folks. It sounds good to think folks will get extra money but there are so many ways it can come back to harm Black and Brown folks. Like when folks claim a fetus one year and don’t claim a child the next year, they’ll be trying to prosecute folks. Or file for child support for the fetus and then miscarry or travel to another state to have an abortion so now they have proof you were pregnant and they’ll be trying to prosecute folks. Just know that a state that doesn’t allow you full autonomy over your body is not a state that wants to help you. It’s a gaht damn setup.
1 week ago
View on Instagram |
2/6
kehindethurman
kehindethurman
•
Follow
4 weeks ago
View on Instagram |
3/6
And I left the house with no earrings. I feel so naked 😩
kehindethurman
kehindethurman
•
Follow
And I left the house with no earrings. I feel so naked 😩
4 weeks ago
View on Instagram |
4/6
Let’s face it. LeBron could have been filmed with 2 kilos in his bag and folks would still be supporting him and demanding his freedom. Brittney Griner is Black, lesbian and woman. All identities that alone will get you dismissed and disregarded in this country and many others. People will use the guilty plea as evidence that she deserves what is happening. Without considering the many innocent people who plead guilty in this very country simply because the criminal legal system will make your life more hell if you don’t. No one should be caged. And for damn sure not for drugs. We know that more people would recognize that if Brittney was white or male or straight. The other layer is the #equalpay issue that had her over there in the first place. #brittneygriner #freebrittneygriner #freebrittney fuckthesystem #fuckthecriminaljusticesystem
kehindethurman
kehindethurman
•
Follow
Let’s face it. LeBron could have been filmed with 2 kilos in his bag and folks would still be supporting him and demanding his freedom. Brittney Griner is Black, lesbian and woman. All identities that alone will get you dismissed and disregarded in this country and many others. People will use the guilty plea as evidence that she deserves what is happening. Without considering the many innocent people who plead guilty in this very country simply because the criminal legal system will make your life more hell if you don’t. No one should be caged. And for damn sure not for drugs. We know that more people would recognize that if Brittney was white or male or straight. The other layer is the #equalpay issue that had her over there in the first place. #brittneygriner #freebrittneygriner #freebrittney fuckthesystem #fuckthecriminaljusticesystem
1 month ago
View on Instagram |
5/6
Pineapple turmeric #smoothie to help with inflammation. Added some protein, collagen and adaptogens and this yummy goodness is also good for me. #whatKehindeeating
kehindethurman
kehindethurman
•
Follow
Pineapple turmeric #smoothie to help with inflammation. Added some protein, collagen and adaptogens and this yummy goodness is also good for me. #whatKehindeeating
1 month ago
View on Instagram |
6/6
View on Instagram

Copyright © 2020 Kehinde Thurman. All Rights Reserved. Website: MarkWalcott.com