“Well at least I ain’t no Black woman.” That’s pretty much what I heard from every man on the Power finale. And it seems to be the only thing you have to avoid being in order to still be considered a morally upstanding motherfucker. For a lot of folks, the most egregious sin you can commit is being Black and woman at the same damn time. And God help you if....read more

Gayle >Wack Ass Men: On Power, Snoop, 50 and Fake Ass Moral Superiority

It’s me. I’m a Black girl who done searched for love and detoured at self-destruction. A few times. I didn’t expect to reflect on that this holiday season but the universe has a way of doing what it wants to do. Because the universe ain’t shit. So Christmas rolled around and I got a gift from a friend. Ok. Situationship buddy I got comfortable with for a year and some....read more

On Black Girls Who Search for Love and Detour at Self-Destruction: Life Lessons From Queenie

“I mean things have happened but I’m ok. They didn’t impact me that bad.” Gemini therapist looked like I had gotten on her last gaht damn nerve. The reserve nerve. Next thing I know I’m sitting on a kiddie chair in a room full of art supplies. She picked up a marker and started writing on the whiteboard wall. “Birth.” “Nah I don’t want to play this game. I know....read more

Facing Trauma Head On. Let's Go.

Not long ago I described what I wanted in love. Not unlike Queen & Slim both did in the film. Here is what I said… I want love I just call “Love” because no other name fits. I want Love to reach for my hand while driving. I want to lay my head in Love’s lap while Love watches something I don’t even want to see but will watch just to....read more

Where is the Love? On Queen & Slim and Black Girls Deserving Better

I've been blogging for 12 years. I started with a mission of impacting one woman. Just one. I've recently come to understand that the one woman I need to impact right now is me. So I'm taking a self-care break. Removing obligations I've placed on myself to write, blog, vlog publicly. Going back to the thing that saved my 6 year-old life. Writing for me. Just me. Writing for survival.....read more

Goodnight: This Black Girl is Taking a Rest

Word on the street is that (cishet) men want in on #HotGirlSummer. And even though the term is gender neutral, they don’t want to participate the way you might think. Instead, they’ve made it clear that they really shoulda just sat there and ate they food. Men like Pharrell Williams. Like dude in this clip: https://instagram.com/p/B0gzyyCHYNM/ Yeah, it’s all just “jokes.” But in real life we got a whole grown ass....read more

I’m Here for all the Hot Girl Summers. The Megan Thee, Hennessy and Plan B Summers.

.embed-container { position: relative; padding-bottom: 56.25%; height: 0; overflow: hidden; max-width: 100%; } .embed-container iframe, .embed-container object, .embed-container embed { position: absolute; top: 0; left: 0; width: 100%; height: 100%; }....read more

Bubble Gum and Duct Tape: Holding This Heart Together