When Tasha Dropped the Gospel: On Insecure and the Book of Relations 4:43

When Tasha Dropped the Gospel: On Insecure and the Book of Relations 4:43

So all during the episode I was preparing a whole ‘nother blog post. I was gon’ talk about how Molly is going to let comparison be the death of the relationship she ain’t even had yet. I was gon talk about Molly and Issa switching roles (Issa tryin’ to be a hoe, Molly trying not to be) and getting exactly what they (don’t) want. I was gon talk about how it’s best to just be you to avoid adding to your body count and only getting bad sex or the foolishness of turning down Sterling K. Brown (I know that ain’t his name on the show but bae is always bae *in a respectful, I know he married this all in my head kinda way* and to be clear, ain’t no body count judgment ’round here). But all that was before Tasha decided she was giving the benediction…

And much like Damon over at VSB, you know exactly where you were when she opened the doors of the church.

At any rate, just when you thought the episode was over and Tasha was about to forgive Lawrence again by feeding him, she dropped the gospel. Told Lawrence…

You worse than a f*ck nigga, you a f*ck nigga who thinks he’s a good dude (Relations 4:43)

My gawd.

The doors of the church are open.

Won’t you come…

Listen. I had wine glass in hand about to take a drink when that word hit me. HBO need to warn me because it wasn’t even the cheap stuff so I would have been mad if I dropped it. But God. And good grips.

And you know a word is good when you ain’t even got to expand upon it much or break it down although sistas got exegeses all over the interweb by now. In this case, what’s understood don’t got to be explained but we gon repeat it for the ones who don’t understand. One more time for the f*ckboys in the back. And especially the f*ckboys who think they good dudes. Since Issa cheated, #teamLawrence been acting like the sky fell down. Like Issa cheated on some upstanding, supportive, moral, romantic, caring blah blah blah good dude. Nah. She cheated on a f*ckboy. Only some folks couldn’t tell he was a f*ckboy simply because he didn’t cheat first. That’s how low the bar is for men. All Lawrence had to do was be physically present and that was supposed to count for something. But the reality is that Lawrence wasn’t emotionally available and he mentally stepped out long before Issa physically stepped out. And I’m not saying she did a good thing (or the right thing). I am saying we can’t make it more than it was. So Issa cheats and #teamLawrence thought they found the blameworthy party. Only when Lawrence moved on to the next woman, his f*ckboy slip started hanging a bit lower. Dude got so out of hand his uber goofy homeboy even called him out. Seems the golden child was pretty much just using Tasha for a place to crash, some ass and a few hot plates. But he swore he wasn’t. And that was enough for #teamLawrence. And then Lawrence kinda sorta cheated on Tasha. Because f*ckboys. I say kinda because although they weren’t in a relationship, he certainly wasn’t open with Tasha about the fact that he had a community penis. Wasn’t nan condom nowhere in sight when Lawrence and Issa got down (important side note: know your status, get tested. For all the things). Because of Lawrence and Tasha’s (non)relationship status, #teamLawrence could still go on pretending he was a good dude since he didn’t technically cheat. But #teamIssa and #teamhealthyrelationships wasn’t going. Because we been reading the good book. So we knew it was only a matter of time before Lawrence gave Tasha some version of his sit-on- the-couch-and-dream f*ckboy self. And it didn’t take long. But because he’s an overachieving f*ckboy, he had to do it in front of her entire family. Homegirl invited him to the family cookout. You know that’s major. If I got you anywhere near my aunties, you know I like you a whole lot. If you don’t like me back, you need to decline the invite. Because if you get a plate, we go together. If you sit down and play spades with my uncles, you basically just asked for my hand in marriage. And I swear fo’ lawd if you partake in the after spades brown liquor session, we in this forever *Cardi B voice*. Lawrence culturally Black enough to know cookout rules so he knew what it was when he said yes. True to his word, he did show up. And then dude bounced. In the middle of the cookout. Brats still on the grill, grandma still need to be helped back on the van, aunties still waiting to ask, “Who your momma ‘nem?” He left.

Some folks might say Lawrence did the right thing by leaving when he realized he didn’t want to be there. But the truth is that he knew that before he showed up. But f*ckboys who think they good dudes be committed to appearing to be good dudes. Even when they looking you in the face and lying. Like when he said he had a work thing to do when he left.

After what I’m sure was a brown liquor sessions filled with questions and smart comments (You know some cousin who ain’t never been able to stand her kept asking, “Hey Tasha, your man *still* at work?”), Tasha let Lawrence have it. Made it clear that she been knew what it was but Lawrence was the one acting like it was more than what it was when it was convenient for him. Dude went way past mixed signals to mixed actions and direct words and was running around apologizing for shit he wasn’t even sorry for. I might have just shouted. Because where is the lie? Where is the accountability? Where is the respect? We know where it ain’t. It ain’t in Lawrence. Because Lawrence is worse than a f*ckboy. He’s a f*ckboy who thinks he’s a good dude.

  • Kara
    Posted at 19:06h, 07 August

    This is the best thing anyone ever wrote, ever! Ever, ever, ever!!!

    • Erica Thurman
      Posted at 11:17h, 09 August

      Thanks so much! And thanks for taking time to check out the piece.

  • Shaun
    Posted at 17:42h, 08 August

    Oh you bitter women crack me up…it was obvious Lawerence was all about seeing where things go with Tasha. It was all good until she started changing on him or showing her true colors. She was more ghetto then she originally let on. She didn’t have anything of substance to talk about during conversation, too focused on talk shows, reality tv or whatever she was talking bout (really didn’t matter). She even stop giving up the booty…so her saving grace was gone and Lawrence knew he wasn’t feeling her anymore. So instead of just leaving her hanging he went to the cookout and saw that her family was just as ghetto/ratchet as Tasha was…so he dipped out. How you gonna blame him for that? Oh so you rather him stick around and pretend everything is all good. So you can call him a liar and fuck boy later…y’all bitter females are funny af…

    • Erica Thurman
      Posted at 10:05h, 09 August

      I stopped reading at “you bitter women.”

      • NicholM
        Posted at 17:42h, 09 August

        Me too!!

      • Troy L Brown
        Posted at 13:36h, 10 August

        I wouldnt call you bitter but definitely bias. Do you blame him for seeing a situation more in depth and realizing thats not what he’s looking for? Do you think he’s a fuck boy because he rather work towards his own business than create great ideas for another company to make millions off? He didnt go about it the best way but he’s definitely wasn’t obligated to stay in situation he realize he wasn’t up for. The more time you spend with someone the more you understand them and for Tasha she simply showed Lawrence she’s not what he’s looking for… True Lawrence was an asshole for the way he left and basically abandoning her but he wasn’t wrong for leaving.

        • Erica Thurman
          Posted at 14:44h, 10 August

          I’ll accept that I might be biased in the sense that we all take in information with a particular lens. We’re all biased in that sense. And no, he wasn’t wrong for leaving, the way he did it is the problem.

      • Nyree
        Posted at 14:15h, 10 August

        Facts. #boybye

  • KING
    Posted at 18:11h, 08 August

    Lol good read but come on now let us be real. Tasha said herself during the “Break up” that she did not want to be serious, that she “knew what it was” now let us all think about it for a moment…. If I’m just “fucking” a woman I will not, I repeat, WILL NOT invite her to any family function that is reserved for serious relationships only lol. I’ve been in Lawrence shoes (except the getting cheated on part) but as a man when you are down and out on top of being in a relationship it is demoralizing, depressing, yes you do kind of disconnect because your mind is focused on “getting right”, you want to provide, you don’t want your girl providing for you. So him being in that position makes him a fuck boy, naaaa not at all. Women as men to keep it real all the time, tell me if you fucked another girl, blah blah blah so when he does it that makes him a fuck boy, that sort of hypocritical don’t you think? Come you can tell Lawrence was overwhelmed as soon as he got to the BBQ got this man you claim you just want to “fuck” rolling ya old ass auntie around the BBQ, helping ya crazy ass cousin set up the sound system etc, shit I would have skated on that shit too. You can’t tell me Lawrence was a bad dude Issa’s cheating came at a horrible time, and in his mind, he looks at it like this… Damn, I was down, just got back on my feet by getting a job, still grinding to get into a better position, and you chose to step out on me (with what seems to be a successful producer/person in a better position than me). Lawrence did the right thing he curved every attempt Tasha made when he and Issa were together, he was loyal. That is why Team Lawrence is celebrating every move he makes he did exactly what women ask for and ya’ll called him a fuck boy for it.

    • Erica Thurman
      Posted at 10:04h, 09 August

      Tasha was cool with the set up. Lawrence changed it by adding dates to the situation. She just reciprocated his behavior. She never once complained about what they had or asked for more. Lawrence kicked that off by taking her out which likely gave her the impression he was trying to get boo’ed up.

      • KING
        Posted at 11:00h, 09 August

        Going out on a date hardly says “I want to be serious” I’m sure you’ve gone out with some dudes you didn’t even like or would consider taking seriously on that level… Lawrence being a good dude didn’t want to be an asshole, he did what women claim they want, take me out, check, be honest, check. They are both to blame for not establishing what it was from jump, but the fact still remains if Tasha “knew what it was” she should not have expected more from him. Even the conversations Lawrence had with his boy (the light skin dude I forget his characters name) you can tell he was conflicted, no his boy is savage no fucks to give that is the true fuck boy that is the dude that has women calling all men dogs.

        • Erica Thurman
          Posted at 11:16h, 09 August

          Going out on the date didn’t say “I want to be serious” but it did say “I want to be more than Netflix and chill.” Lawrence is only honest after the fact. And he doesn’t get points for that. He would have gotten points if he had told her from jump he didn’t want to go to the cookout.

  • Ashley M.
    Posted at 22:59h, 08 August

    OMGosh this article has me in tears, like real deal laugh out loud (but I might cry a little) tears! Great perspective, well-written. ?? Insecure season 2 still has my card. #MyLifeTelevised

    • Erica Thurman
      Posted at 09:54h, 09 August

      Insecure out here putting all our business on front street! lol.

  • Cassandra
    Posted at 10:03h, 09 August

    Your piece was well written, but ummmm, the same could be said about Tasha…there I said it….she’s a phuck girl or even worse a phuck girl that thinks she’s a good girl….She “knew what it was” yet she still jumped in the phuck boy pool…in the deep end and now she going off about being wet. ????‍♀️??‍♀️

    • Erica Thurman
      Posted at 10:52h, 09 August

      Thanks. I think Tasha is just what Lawrence (and a lot of folks) aren’t prepared for. Tasha seemed ok with it just being a weekend thing. She wasn’t pressuring him to take her out or meet his friends. He kicked that off when his homeboy called him out. And Tasha just went with the flow. I think she would have still been fine with the the weekend set up. And maybe why she didn’t care that he slept with Issa. Maybe Lawrence just didn’t know what to do with a woman who really didn’t want more from him. So he sends mixed signals and then bounces when he’s not comfortable with the consequences.

      • Brandon
        Posted at 13:32h, 09 August

        Just because you leave the house and go on (apparently) one date is not a mixed signal. Even going to the bbq isn’t a mixed signal. He never said he wanted more and she never appeared to say that either . Unless it’s stated otherwise you can do stuff with the other person even if it is a sex situation

        So the only real fuckboy occurrence was leaving and not coming back. He could’ve lied better or just not went.

        • Erica Thurman
          Posted at 14:11h, 09 August

          That’s part of my point. She never said she wanted more. And neither the date or the BBQ had to be a big deal. Lawrence didn’t seem to think the date was a big deal so why did he trip on the BBQ? Are other activities only okay if Lawrence is the person who initiates them? Leaving and saying you were coming back (knowing you aren’t) is just plain rude.

          • Brandon
            Posted at 14:22h, 09 August

            I think it’s more of the assessment that he was somehow a f*uck n*igga to Tasha prior to the BBQ, when he hadn’t been.

            Do the relationship woes with Issa make him f*uck? I’m just trying to clarify, if it was just the BBQ.

            In my estimation, I don’t think he was aware he couldn’t deal until he arrived at the BBQ and saw all the goings on. The flute girl solidified it. He just should’ve handled leaving better.

          • Erica Thurman
            Posted at 14:54h, 09 August

            Well, he didn’t tell Issa he was having sex with Tasha before he had unprotected sex with Issa (nor did Issa ask so she too is responsible for that) and his “woe is me, I’m having issues so that excuses me ignoring my girlfriend’s birthday” attitude contributes to his f*ckboy status. And if he really thought he and Tasha were just sex buddies, why be sorry about sleeping with Issa? If he hadn’t taken Tasha on a date before his friend said something, he probably didn’t want to. So why do it? Also, why did he have issue with Tasha not wanting to have sex? Because he came over without them both agreeing that’s what they were meeting to do. If he had said, “Hey, I’m coming over with the intent to have sex,” she could have said she wasn’t in the mood. But he doesn’t get to be looking crazy because she didn’t want to. That implies he thought she owed it to him. And that’s a problem. Lawrence leaves too many things up for question or interpretation.

            Lawrence likely can’t be upfront and direct with the women in his life because he’s not even upfront and direct with himself. But that doesn’t give anyone the right to treat others as a means to an end. And he don’t even seem to know what his end is so that makes it worse.

            To be clear, I’m not saying Lawrence is the only f*ckperson on the show, this particular post was about him because Tasha dropped a classic line.

            What you got against the flute twerk session? LOL

    • ZZ
      Posted at 14:58h, 10 August

      I gotta agree with you Cassandra, I’m sorry I think they both played themselves and Tasha most of all. She accepted what he was offering from the beginning and gave up most everything she had to offer before there was even a meaningful conversation that would allow either of them to get to really know the other. She sent me on an emotional roller coaster with her “I know what it is, I’m down to just fu*k” and then the next minute you’re inviting this dude you barely know to the family cookout…I am not absolving Lawrence of his wishy washy ways, but one thing is clear, he never gave the impression or verbally noted he wanted any type of relationship besides what they had…that cookout made my ass breakout into hives. Not only did Tasha lack substance but her family was more than one could handle after a few sex sessions and one dinner. She put herself in that whack position, Lawerence also should have bailed sooner cause there was nothing there for him. But in the end they both got that “fu*k boy/girl” label and I can’t be mad cause that was literally the only thing they truly agreed to.

      I swear I love this damn show though…

  • Elven
    Posted at 12:45h, 09 August

    As triflin as Lawrence was, and believe me he was triflin with a capital T, lets not pretend like Tasha didn’t play herself. Tasha really wanted a relationship but was willing to take less out of fear, she been pushin for dates since the first episode. After taking him back the way she did she should have adulted up and been prepared to ask those serious questions like “where they were at in there relationship”, because there aint no such thing as cheating on somebody you just fuckin or casually dating. But alot of females dont because they’re scared of what a niggas like Lawrence might say. Instead she just pushed for real relationship milestones like meeting the family at the BBQ, because really aint nobody introducin they fuck buddy to the fam like that, hoping to just gloss over real discussion. The bedroom scene where she wasnt bout givin up the booty is bad on both parts, Lawrence for not just being real about just wanting to fuck(prentending to be a nice guy) and Tasha frontin luring herself into a false sense of security going full relationship mode(she aint got a man yet) before anything was official. She can say she knew what it was and it was cool (it wasnt), but lets be honest Tasha aint have no backbone and wasnt ready to tell anybody about themselves until she got completely played by a triflin ass nigga. Lawrence is triflin, Tasha is weak. Kudos to her for finally letting it be known, but i doubt going forward she’s learned how to stop and value herself and speak up BEFOREHAND not just after things become a shit show.

    • Erica Thurman
      Posted at 13:22h, 09 August

      They had sex and he immediately walked out the door and she didn’t trip at all. He comes over, chills for the weekend and leaves and she wasn’t tripping at all. He never took her out and she didn’t trip at all. He said he was leaving the cookout she invited him to and she ain’t trip at all. I’m inclined to believe she wasn’t tripping because she really didn’t care. Had he not said he was coming back, she probably wouldn’t have said a word. And maybe the family BBQ didn’t mean nothing to her. For all we know, she had a whole ‘nother brother at the last one and that sort of thing ain’t for her. Tasha was chilling. Her biggest issues seems to be that Lawrence just can’t be upfront.

      • Elven
        Posted at 14:23h, 09 August

        They had sex and when he got ready to leave she was visibly and verbally dissapointed and asked if they could get together thursday he declined. The exact next scene was Lawrence and his boy talking bout how it was lowkey inconsiderate. When he did take her out she looked happy. Watch the scene where she brought the BBQ up again it was definately a big deal to her, she was pressed on pins and needles waiting for his response. When he told her he slept with Issa she tripped HARD, like it wasnt even up for discussion, she told him he needed to leave. She definately cared. Nothing about her body language said chilling. She was eager to please to the point of being a pushover and didnt want to cause a rift. She lightweight was about to have a panic attack if he didnt like being called zaddy during sex! This episode was the only time he wasnt upfront, not excusing his actions just sayin.

        • Erica Thurman
          Posted at 15:21h, 09 August

          Even if it’s just a sex buddy relationship, a brother can’t wait until a sister puts her clothes on before he bounces? Dang. And I be happy every time I eat so I don’t know if happy is an indication of wanting more, lol.

  • Kay
    Posted at 14:17h, 09 August

    Interesting takes. But keep it 100 on tasha part. She seemed to be longing for a legit relationship with Lawrence like a real commited one since she invited him to the cookout. But she knew what it was. In the case of tasha and Lawrence . they started having sex way too soon (IMO) having sex early on will turn what couldve been a good relationship into a f**boy situation bc thats all he will see the woman for.
    See how he never cheated on Issa after like 5 yrs or however long they were together. Seems to indicate to me they had a real and solid relationship prior to sex getting involved. Unlike in tasha situation. So there’s no real relationship there for him with Tasha. If Lawrence was really a f**boy he wouldve been cheating on issa. What im trying to get to is Tasha actions and in real life many womena actions literally make a man into a f**boy and make them view you as just a piece of a** bc they gave it up so early without establishing a relationship. If you have sex and THEN ask wjat is the status of our relationship as a woman. You playrd yourself and thats literally your fault

    Not saying he was great in the relationship with issa. He shouldve stepped it up. And been more motivated. But thats a separate issue

    • Erica Thurman
      Posted at 15:18h, 09 August

      I honestly don’t think Tasha wanted him like that. She only invited him to the cookout after he asked her out on the date so it seems he changed the dynamics of the relationship first. Tasha never asked the status of the relationship and she didn’t go off on him about the status of the relationship. She snapped because he lied to her and went ghost. Both of which are just rude no matter what the relationship status. Lawrence just might not be able to wrap his head around the fact that maybe Tasha just wanted sex too.

  • Kam
    Posted at 00:53h, 10 August

    OK I’m not team Lawrence by any means however Tasha needs some blame too. She clearly knew what it was and just because a nigga take you on one dinner date does not give the green light to go to the family cook out. Like come on they was just going steady. Neither one of them established any roles or ground rules so she shouldn’t have been so mad that he flaked on her.

    • Erica Thurman
      Posted at 08:26h, 10 August

      Lawrence couldn’t have said no to he cookout? And I’d feel some type of way if anyone I invited flaked, no matter what the relationship.

  • MLX
    Posted at 11:53h, 10 August

    I don’t think this characterization of Lawrence is fair. The first season started with him on the couch and depressed. That depression manifested itself in all aspects of his life including his relationship. He wasn’t realizing his potential and had basically given up. However, he broke out of that cycle, got a job and then got on his career path.
    He was finally becoming everything Issa wanted him to be. His confidence was back. Then he found out, that he had been betrayed. The brother was devastated.
    His relationship was over and he decided to give Tasha a chance. The man really liked her. However, as the relationship evolved, he realized she didn’t offer him any intellectual stimulation . She seemed to be incapable of holding thought-provoking conversation. She was preoccupied with reality tv and gossip. When it comes down to it, he was initially genuinely interested. But, as he got to know Tasha he lost that interest. That doesn’t make him a bad guy.

  • Sean
    Posted at 12:40h, 10 August

    Lawrence was a f*uck n*igga when dealing with Tasha. He really didn’t care about her and he was apologizing for things that he wasn’t really sorry about. But he wasn’t a f*uck n*igga with Issa. He had flaws that contributed to their problems but that didn’t make him a f*uck n*igga.

  • Sean
    Posted at 14:01h, 10 August

    Erica, lol you was just waiting for that so you could go on Lawrence. Issa cheated and females dont know how to deal with shit when they the ones WRONG, and keep looking for something to be like “see” “see” like Issa was justified, nah, she cheated she a fuckgirl. Nah he not a fuckboy he HURT at the moment and not bout to let no one inside the circle at the moment. Not fuckboy shit, just not sure where he at right now, cuz the Woman noooooo one thought would cheat just did that.

    • Erica Thurman
      Posted at 14:46h, 10 August

      You call women “females?” Hmm. Also, I definitely started that Issa wasn’t right for cheating.

    • Mallory
      Posted at 16:54h, 10 August

      He’s considered a fuckboy because he was sitting idle in the apartment why Issa was working. Lawrence had NO job and still couldn’t bother to get dressed and ready to go out for her bday. So I understand exactly how he took an L for that but I ALSO agree with you that Issa was no better. She cheated. And she realizes now she lost a good thing. Sometimes you have to realize that your partner is not always going to be perfect, there will be lows, but if you can’t love and offer emotional support and motivation for your partner while they are in the pit, you don’t deserve them when they’re flying high. Issa was most definitely wrong with her cheating, but what was worse is that she wasn’t even going to own up to it until he found out. So she cheated and was a liar. Lawrence’s greatest sin was he got complacent and lazy but one out weighs the other. But what I really wish more females would recognize about themselves is to stop settling in the beginning! Like if you don’t want a fuckboy don’t tolerate a fuckboy from the JUMP. Ain’t nobody tell Tasha to play herself like that, and I feel no fucks for her because at damn 28,29 she should of known he was on some rebound, strictly booty, no date having tip and if she didn’t want that, she should of never compromised herself in the beginning. Keep it 100, own what you want. Do go flipping the script when you think you can change a dude and make him see you as more than a bootycall. Tasha can have all the Ls!

      • Erica Thurman
        Posted at 20:16h, 10 August

        What outweighs what depends on what you want. For some folks, lazy is worse than cheating.

        • Troy L Brown
          Posted at 00:27h, 11 August

          you thought lawerence was lazy ?????

          • Erica Thurman
            Posted at 10:30h, 11 August

            I was responding to Mallory’s statement about cheating being worse than lazy.

        • Mallory
          Posted at 02:00h, 11 August

          Girl let’s just stop with the lies. A lazy partner is annoying as hell but you’re heart will be broken, you’ll be pissed off, embarrassed, ready for revenge, jealous and ego bruised all at once from someone cheating. Ain’t nobody seeing lazy as worst than cheating. It’s an apples to oranges comparison. Lawrence got two sins for the price of his one.

          • Erica Thurman
            Posted at 10:31h, 11 August

            I’m not going to be jealous or seeking revenge if someone cheats. And I certainly won’t be ego bruised embarrassed because someone cheated on me. Why would I?

  • Mallory
    Posted at 16:41h, 10 August

    Now, I am all for calling out f boys when you see them but I feel no fucks for Tasha. She moved in on Lawrence knowing damn well he had a girl, she knew he was coming FRESH out of a relationship and still was acting desperate, giving up the booty and then trying to switch it all up and play wifey. He saw that it was moving from f buddy status to old married couple status real quick with her and he wasn’t feeling it. I don’t see that he led her on, because he didn’t. If Tasha wanted something with more substance she should of came to the table like that. More women need to stop playing themselves by settling in the beginning just to try to switch it up to what they really want later.

    • Erica Thurman
      Posted at 20:15h, 10 August

      But she didn’t know he had a girl until he told her, she went on about her business and then he showed up at her door.